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좌경화, 中道化, 우경화의 차이
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"좌경화는 노무현이 대통령이 되는 것을 뜻한다. 중도화는 李明博이 대통령이 되는 것을 말한다. 우경화는 MBC가 문을 닫는 것을 가리킨다."
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東西 냉전 시절에 西獨과 東獨 정보기관은 서로 우스개 수집 작전을 벌였다고 한다. 유행하는 우스개를 통하여 사회의 변동과 民心의 동향을 파악하기 위함이었다. 양쪽 정보기관 간부들은 수집된 우스개에 대한 보고를 받기를 고대하였다고 한다. 우스개를 읽을 때만은 마음 놓고 웃을 수 있었기 때문이다. 당시 東獨 비밀경찰 슈타지는 약10만 명의 정규직원과 약20만 명의 정보원을 고용하여 약1800만 명의 東獨 사람들을 감시하였다. 1950, 60년대엔 反共的인 우스개를 하는 이들을 붙들어 고문하고 투옥하기까지 하였다. 그래서 東獨엔 이런 우스개가 유행하였다.
"우스개를 모아서 이야기해주는 사람들이 있다. 그리고 우스개를 이야기하는 사람들을 모으는 사람들이 있다."
"There are people who tell jokes. There are people who collect jokes and tell jokes. And there are people who collect people who tell jokes."
*소련에서 말하는 의견 교환(exchange of opinion)이란 무슨 뜻인가?
정답은, "한 모스크바 시민이 자신의 의견을 지닌 채 KGB에 붙들려 가서 고문을 받은 뒤 나올 때는 자신의 의견을 거기에 놔두고 KGB의 의견을 갖고 나오는 것, 그것이 소련식 소통이다."
정치농담의 大家는 역시 로널드 레이건 대통령이었다. 사이트에 올라 있는 그의 유머를 읽는 것은 하나의 영어 공부이기도 하다.
"정치는 두번째로 오랜 직업이라고 하는데, 나는 첫번째로 오래 된 직업과 매우 닮았다는 사실을 알았다."
"Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first."
"경기침체란 내 이웃이 실직자가 되는 것을 말한다. 不況이란 내가 실직자가 되는 것을 뜻한다. 경기회복이란 지미 카터가 실직자가 되는 것을 가리킨다."
"Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his."
이걸 한국식으로 응용하면 이렇게 될 것이다.
"좌경화는 노무현이 대통령이 되는 것을 뜻한다. 중도화는 李明博이 대통령이 되는 것을 말한다. 우경화는 MBC가 문을 닫는 것을 가리킨다."
"배우가 어떻게 대통령이 될 수 있나요?"라고 물은 데 대하여 레이건은 이렇게 응답하였다.
"대통령이 어떻게 배우가 안 될 수 있나요?"
"How can a president not be an actor?" -when asked "How could an actor become president?'
"제시 헬름즈는 나를 보고 오른쪽으로 가라 한다. 로웰 위커는 날 보고 왼쪽으로 가라 한다. 테디 케네디는 나에게 캘리포니아로 돌아가라고 한다."
Jesse Helms wants me to move to the right. Lowell Weicker wants me to move to the left. Teddy Kennedy wants me to move back to California.
"오늘 저는 75세가 되었습니다만 잊지 마세요, 그건 섭씨로는 24랍니다."
I did turn seventy-five today, but remember, that's only twenty-four Celsius.
산속 휴양지로 차를 모는 한 사나이가 있었다. 그런데 경찰관이 정차시키고 말하였다.
"후미등을 켜지 않았네요"
사나이는 황급히 차에서 뛰쳐내렸다. 그가 당황하는 모습을 보고 경찰관이 동정하면서 말하였다.
"당황하지 말고 진정하세요. 뭐 그렇게 심각한 위반사항이 아니니까요."
사나이는 말하였다.
"당신한테는 별것이 아니겠지만 나에겐 심각한 게, 말이죠, 내 트레일러와 마누라와 네 아이들을 잃어버렸단 말이예요."
There was a fellow that was on his way to a mountain resort, and a policeman stopped him and said, "Did you know you're driving without taillights?" And the driver hopped out of the car. He was so badly shaken that the officer took pity on him and said, "Well, now, wait a minute. Calm down. It's not that serious an infraction."
The fellow said, "It may not mean much to you, but to me it means I've lost my trailer, my wife, and four kids!"
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"My fellow Americans. I'm pleased to announce that I've signed legislation outlawing the Soviet Union. We begin bombing in five minutes." -joking during a mike check before his Saturday radio broadcast
"It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?"
"I hope you're all Republicans." -speaking to surgeons as he entered the operating room following a 1981 assassination attempt
"Honey, I forgot to duck." -to his wife, Nancy, after surviving the assassination attempt
"I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself."
"I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency even if I'm in a Cabinet meeting."
"Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first."
"The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'"
"Well, I learned a lot....I went down to (Latin America) to find out from them and (learn) their views. You'd be surprised. They're all individual countries"
"I don't know. I've never played a governor." -asked by a reporter in 1966 what kind of governor he would be
"Facts are stupid things." -at the 1988 Republican National Convention, attempting to quote John Adams, who said, "Facts are stubborn things"
"Trees cause more pollution than automobiles."
"All the waste in a year from a nuclear power plant can be stored under a desk."
"There is absolutely no circumstance whatever under which I would accept that spot. Even if they tied and gagged me, I would find a way to signal by wiggling my ears." on possibly being offered the vice presidency in 1968
"You can tell a lot about a fella's character by whether he picks out all of one color or just grabs a handful." -explaining why he liked to have a jar of jelly beans on hand for important meetings
"I want you to know that also I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience." -during a 1984 presidential debate with Walter Mondale
"The state of California has no business subsidizing intellectual curiosity." -responding to student protests on college campuses during his tenure as California governor
"Approximately 80 percent of our air pollution stems from hydrocarbons released by vegetation, so let's not go overboard in setting and enforcing tough emission standards from man-made sources."
"Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his."
"We are trying to get unemployment to go up, and I think we're going to succeed."
"As a matter of fact, Nancy never had any interest in politics or anything else when we got married."
"I've noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born."
"I'm afraid I can't use a mule. I have several hundred up on Capitol Hill." -refusing a gift of a mule
"What we have found in this country, and maybe we're more aware of it now, is one problem that we've had, even in the best of times, and that is the people who are sleeping on the grates, the homeless who are homeless, you might say, by choice."
"How are you, Mr. Mayor? I'm glad to meet you. How are things in your city?" -greeting Samual Pierce, his secretary of Housing and Urban Development, during a White House reception for mayors
"My name is Ronald Reagan. What's yours?" -introducing himself after delivering a prep school commencement address. The individual responded, "I'm your son, Mike," to which Reagan replied, "Oh, I didn't recognize you."
"Politics is just like show business. You have a hell of an opening, you coast for awhile, you have a hell of a closing."
"What does an actor know about politics?" -criticizing Ed Asner for opposing American foreign policy
"What makes him think a middle-aged actor, who's played with a chimp, could have a future in politics?" -on Clint Eastwood's bid to become mayor of Carmel
"How can a president not be an actor?" -when asked "How could an actor become president?'
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The former president was telling a group once about his tumultuous days as governor of California during the rebellious sixties and early 70s. He said he had a meeting with some of the organizers of the protests. They came into his office wearing t-shirts and jeans, and some were barefoot.
Their spokesman began, "Governor, it's impossible for your generation to understand us.... You didn't grow up in a world of instant electronic communications, of cybernetics, of men computing in seconds what once took months, even years, or jet travel, nuclear power, and journeys into space...."
When the young man finished, Reagan said, "You're absolutely right. Our generation didn't have those things when we were growing up. We invented them."
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